“Four Quartets”
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.
T.S. Eliot
For one human being to love another, that is the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test of proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
Rainer Maria Rilke
Healing
I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly,
that I am ill. I am ill because of the wounds to the soul,
to the deep emotional self.
And the wounds to the soul
take a long, long time, only time can help.
And patience, and a certain difficult repentance,
long, difficult repentance, realization of life’s mistake,
and the freeing of oneself
from the endless repetition of the mistake
which mankind at large has chosen to sanctify.
D. H. Lawrence
The Seeker
As I continue to search, my bloodied fingers raw
whether it is that rocky climb or machete hacking at the vines
I know I am seeking something hard to find
something that has always lived inside of me
invisible yet gnawing like a beaver on a stick
just beyond my reaching hands
the yearning calls me
Is it this desire that is so delicious
that creates this constant hunger
I don’t know
but I will find you
on this side of the mountain
or on the other
as we climb yearning for each other
dksaami
An Old Grizzly Bear
Riding on the Great Northern to Montana
Up into that wilderness
I was raised in
Up into the Blackfoot territory
Where the drum still beats
Where grizzlies run free
And the wolf is making its’ comeback
I packed my Winchester carefully
Knowing the station master
And his raised eyebrows
Would strip me head to toe
Where terrorism is now a coin word
And a world we once knew
My shadow has grown thin
Arriving in Browning, the foothills of the Glaciers
A childhood nightmare for myself
Once a town of drunks, whiskey and whores
Has made a comeback to the Blackfoot culture
Of honor, ceremony and tradition
I get my horse and mule
And head into God’s country
The first night, the wolf visited me
The small campfire kept him at a short distance
I threw him a piece of the meat I cooked
He swallowed it, no chewing here, then disappeared
Sunrise arrived, I decided to follow his tracks
Up into the deep snow, toward the Glaciers, for three days
Then the horses started to fail
Left them go with some food
Strapped on my snow shoes
My Winchester and some supplies
An unwanted snow blizzard arrived
Made a shelter with Pine boughs
Dug deep into the snow
My buffalo blanket
And dried meat for survival
Dreaming through the night
Only to wake up to Sunrise
Fingers and toes blue with frostbite
I took out my flint
Gathered some dried pine needles
And started a small fire
Got it blazing and thawed the frozen ones
Where do I go from here
Supplies running out
The wolf’s tracks are gone
It’s just me and the Glaciers
Knowing they will win
dksaami
Love After Love
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was yourself.
Give Wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror
Sit. Feast on your life
Derek Walcott
“After the long Arctic winter comes the miracle of the returning sun. On a clear day when the light is that of dusk, only a slip of the sun’s edge appears, but enough to tell us that beyond the horizon lies a red, glowing disc…..Then we stand amazed to see its glory high in the sky. For a time the hours of night and day are balanced like those in the south…”
The Way of the Four Winds
Translated by Naomi Walford
Sit with Me
Sometimes it might be an open window
Maybe a slight glance
Maybe a nudge towards something
Something calling your attention
Maybe an ache in your heart
Something to fill that empty void
My love,
Know you are being called
Whispered to
And that cage you find yourself in
A timeless moment
Yes, a painfully slow moment
Where the darkest desire is to run away
Frantically, run into that setting sun
Sit with me in this tension
Where everything has been abandoned
And know that what you now feel
Are the Spirit Guides
Sent by the other world
Leading you into the light
David Kukkola,
“Memoirs”
Passing Time
I have wandered through many paths
Some too difficult to mention
But they have marked me
Much like the tatoos on my shoulders
Marking an initiation
A transformation into a new level of consciousness
Sometimes I ask myself
What have I left behind
If anything
The old tapes keep playing
Could I have done it any differently?
Could I have made other choices?
And I say to myself
I would have hoped for the wrong thing
Looked for love in the wrong places
Refusing to accept circumstances as they are
A deep stubbornness to submit
Yet it has been my survival
Today, I talked to an old acquaintance
Someone who walked by me as I walked by her
Years ago, another lifetime
Today, the words flowed
Like that mountain stream
Fresh, vibrant, and filled with Life
Aahhh, to taste that mountain water!
Simplifies everything, thirst well quenched
A sense of connection to the gift of Life again
And so deeply appreciated
I humbly bow to my past
And welcome today
While the future unfolds herself
David Kukkola
“Memoirs”